One year ago today God blessed us with a little angel. We named him Camden James.
I’ve been thinking and writing this tribute in my mind for days. There are so many things I want to say to you, Camden, about your first year of life. Yes, it was hard. Yes, it was challenging. But I don’t want you to think that’s all your first year was. You also taught us so much. So much about our family that we didn’t know, even with the three boys we already had. God molds and shapes every one uniquely and differently. God opened up my eyes to that this past year. Not every baby is going to be the same….and that’s just fine.
You were born at approximately 6:30 p.m. on Sunday, July 20th, 2008. You already threw a loop in the schedule by making my labor with you one of the longest. We were so excited to meet you and see which one of your brothers you would look like. You threw another loop in our plans by looking discreetly like all three of your brothers. Your brothers were so happy to meet you and learn of your name. See, we found out months earlier that we were being blessed with another boy, but we didn’t have a name for you when you were born. Dad finally picked out your name…Camden James. Camden means winding valley. When I look back at this past year, it sure has been a winding valley for us. The winding valley is turning around though. And we’re coming out of this valley stronger than ever!
I am sorry your start in life was filled with pain. I am sorry for all the crying you had to go through. I am sorry that you are still suffering. But I know God is preparing you for the days ahead. I know you are going to be strong and able to do great things. You are going to be an example for the rest of us. You are making our faith stronger. God made you just how He wanted you….and He doesn’t make mistakes.
I can’t tell you the number of times I was brought to my knees this last year. I wanted you to be a certain way and able to do certain things. I learned it’s not about what I want though. I am sorry for wanting you to be something you’re not. In time you will crawl, roll over, walk. It’s not about “Mom’s timing” though. You will do all the things that you’re supposed to….just at the timing that you’re supposed to.
You’ve had a year of pain, discomfort and frustration filled with doctors, specialists and therapists on top of tests and medicines. I’m going to count our blessings though and remember it could be worse. My prayer for you is that from this day forward your life will be happy and free of pain.
You are my little peanut. We have been through so much together this past year. I am thankful that I was the one who was able to care for you and help you. You have challenged my mommy skills and forced me to do more than trust the doctor. I have researched everything and read more than ever to learn all I can.
You are blessed with a family that loves you beyond words. Isaac is your biggest brother who loves to play with you and make you laugh. Eli is your protector, always looking out for you and letting me know when you’re upset. Logan is constantly showering you with love and attention. You will never be lacking for love!
I look forward to our journey into this next year. I look forward to watching you become a little person. Every day with you is a gift.
We love you, Camden James. You are our fourth blessing.
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