Pressing on

This back injury is trying!!!!!

I’m not going to lie.  This may be a very raw and honest post because I’m feeling a bit frustrated. 

Josh’s injection was Monday and went well.  He had an intense soreness for two days after, but seemed to be improving a bit.  That “improvement” lasted a whole day.  His second injection  is schedule for December 19th.  The doc who did the shot said he has a couple of things going on besides the torn and bulging disc.  He also has a synovial cyst and very advanced arthritis for a 33 year old (two months shy of 34).  He wanted to also treat the arthritis, but the doctor hadn’t ordered it so he had to follow doctor’s orders.  On the 19th, if Josh hasn’t improved, he will treat the torn disc and also the arthritis.  He thinks the pain isn’t going away more because of the arthritis. 

This “diagnosis” kind of blew Josh out of the water.  And once again, makes our future seem unclear.  It’s all about trusting in God one day at at time.  I know God has a plan for Josh’s (our) life, but it’s this in between stuff that is hard.

Josh also saw the neurosurgeon on  Friday.  He told Josh he needs at least another month of healing, which wasn’t what Josh wanted to hear at all.  He’s ready to go out and cut wood, get back to work, play football with the boys!  It was frustrating for him to hear he needs to “chill out” for another month.

The doctor wanted Josh off of the heavy narcotics so he prescribed another pain reliever.  Problem is this pain reliever seems to be the cause of Josh’s intense headaches the last few days.  This is a guy who hardly ever gets headaches.  The last few days he’s struggled with them and they seem to get worse as the day progresses.  By night he’s miserable.

The doctor did release Josh to go back to work on Monday, four hours/day.  He had taken him off after the injection because he knew he would be quite sore (and considering how much Josh went downhill when he was there before).  He wanted Josh to rest more.  Josh begged to go back to work.  He is so tired of this.  The doctor wouldn’t release him any more than four hours a day (with limited restrictions), but at least it gives Josh something to get up and go do each day.  I pray he can handle the four hours! 

I ask for prayers for our strength right now.  I won’t lie, it’s tough and it sucks.  I’m trying to be everything for everyone and I can’t always do that.  Work is screaming at me.  The kids are wondering when Dad is going to be better and able to play with them again.  They’re also watching way too much TV and getting some cabin fever.  Josh is crabby more than happy.  He tries, but it’s so hard when you have constant pain.  Workers comp hasn’t paid since the week before Thanksgiving and we’re living on the bare necessities, only buying what we absolutely need to, and trying so hard not to get stressed about Christmas, but I think the kids already know Christmas will be different this year, and smaller, which they seem okay with.  I just need to be okay with it.  My own back is hurting me from lifting too heavy of wood from too far up, but I’m hoping the chiro can fix me (if I can ever get there).

So those are my woes.   I know, not much compared to others.  That’s what I try to tell myself.

I know things will get better and right now I don’t need to hear that.  I  know it.  I  just need strength to make it through.